The Need to Modernise the Institution of Marriage in India

The Indian society has moved a long way from the manner in which marriage used to be arranged. At a very close look we find that it hasn’t changed very substantially. Even today most marriages are still arranged and child marriage is rampant in our society. The married couple has nothing much to say in their marriage. Decisions are taken by the parents and rituals are decided by the norms of the society. It is more of a family business and there is less scope for individual preferences. The dislike and discomfort comes out only when they begin to live together. Tradition rules the institution of family in India and sometimes children are given away in marriage. Even though there are laws forbidding child marriage it is still followed in many villages. Hence there is a need to modernise the institution of marriage in India.

The Importance of Effective Listening

Effective speaking depends on effective listening. It takes energy to concentrate on hearing and to concentrate on understanding what has been heard. Incompetent listeners fail in a number of ways. First, they may drift. Their attention drifts from what the speaker is saying. Second, they may counter. They find counter arguments to whatever a speaker may be saying. Third, they compete. Then, they filter. They exclude from their understanding those parts of the message which do not readily fit with their own frame of reference. Finally they react. They let personal feelings about speaker or subject override the significance of the message which is being sent.

What can a listener do to be more effective? The first key to effective listening is the art of concentration. If a listener positively wishes to concentrate on receiving a message his chances of success are high.

It may need determination. Some speakers are difficult to follow, either because of voice problems, or because of the form in which they send a message. There is then a particular need for the determination of a listener to concentrate on what is being said.

Concentration is helped by alertness. Mental alertness is helped by physical alertness. It is not simply physical fitness, but also positioning of the body, the limbs and the head. Some people also find it helpful to their concentration if they hold the head slightly to one side. One useful way for achieving this is intensive note-taking, by trying to capture the critical headings and sub-headings the speaker is referring to.

Note-taking has been recommended as an aid to the listener. It also helps the speaker. It gives him confidence when he sees that listeners are sufficiently interested to take notes; the patterns of eye-contact when the note-taker looks up can be very positive; and the speaker’s timing is aided-he can see when a note-taker is writing hard and can then make effective use of pauses.

Posture too is important. Consider the impact made by a less competent listener who pushes his chair backwards and slouches. An upright posture helps a listener’s concentration. At the same time it is seen by the speaker to be a positive feature amongst his listeners. Effective listening skills have an impact on both the listener and the speaker.